Pilot Episode: “Green Helmet”

Cold Open

INT. A PIPELINE WORK CAMP TRAILER – DAY

The camera pans over a chaotic scene: dirty work boots, grease-stained blueprints, a half-eaten sandwich with a bite taken out, and an ancient coffee machine spluttering dark sludge. RICK (70, grizzled bachelor with an air of “seen it all” weariness) is sitting at the table, a well-worn thermos in hand, shaking his head at the mess around him.

RICK

(leaning back, to himself)

This place is a fuckin’ zoo. And I’m too old to be the damn zookeeper.

The door swings open, and BEARCUB (40s, disheveled but with a dreamy, artistic aura) stumbles in, wearing a neon green helmet that’s too big for his head. He’s dressed in brand-new safety gear—pristine and totally out of place.

RICK

(scanning Bearcub up and down)

Well, look at that. Thought Halloween was next month. Who the hell are you supposed to be, Safety Man?

BEARCAT (60s, gruff but with a soft spot for his son) steps in behind Bearcub, arms crossed.

BEARCAT

That’s my boy, Bearcub. He’s startin’ today. Keep him outta trouble, Rick.

RICK

(snorts)

Trouble? Out here? Nah, this guy’s trouble-proof with that fuckin’ helmet. (beat) Look, kid, just stay outta Snorty’s way, don’t touch Gord’s lunch, and you’ll get outta here with both legs. Maybe.

Bearcub gives a sheepish smile, trying to adjust his helmet, but it just slips to one side again.

BEARCUB

Uh, thanks. I’m, uh, looking forward to…learning the ropes.

RICK

Yeah, well, hope you can tie a fuckin’ knot, ‘cause this job’s one big tangle.

CUT TO:

TITLE SEQUENCE: Raucous honky-tonk music plays as the camera shows various shots of the crew working on the pipeline, bickering, and getting into mishaps. Scenes include B-rod yelling at a foreman, Snorty twitching nervously while trying to operate heavy machinery, and Gorgeous Gord pulling a chicken leg from his pocket while wrestling with a stubborn valve.

ACT ONE

EXT. PIPELINE CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Bearcub is standing awkwardly in his bright green helmet amidst the hum of machinery and shouting of workers. B-ROD (50s, hard-nosed but not without humor) strolls up with a clipboard. He’s flanked by SNORTY (30s, jittery and paranoid, constantly sniffling), who can’t stop scratching his neck.

B-ROD

(to Bearcub)

So, you’re Bearcat’s kid? Thought you were some kinda painter. You ever paint a fuckin’ pipeline before?

BEARCUB

(earnestly)

Uh, not exactly. But I’m a fast learner.

SNORTY

(suddenly blurting out)

Hope you’re a fast runner too. Place is a death trap, man.

Bearcub looks worried, glancing around. B-rod smirks, slaps Bearcub on the back.

B-ROD

Don’t listen to this coked-out bastard. He’s just pissed ‘cause we won’t let him drive the backhoe anymore. You’ll be fine.

From the distance, GORGEOUS GORD (50s, covered in grime, somehow endearing) lumbers over. He’s holding a drumstick and munching on it, grease smeared all over his face.

GORGEOUS GORD

(to Bearcub, through a mouthful of chicken)

New guy, huh? Got any cash? Coffee’s on me—if you lend me ten bucks.

Bearcub opens his mouth to reply, but Gord’s attention shifts to a passing truck, and he wanders off mid-conversation. B-rod sighs.

B-ROD

Welcome to the crew, Green Helmet.

CUT TO:

INT. PIPELINE SITE TRAILER – LATER

Bearcub is fumbling with a wrench, trying to tighten a valve. RICK watches from the corner, shaking his head. Bearcub’s helmet keeps slipping, obstructing his vision.

RICK

(grumbling)

Kid, you’re twistin’ it like you’re screwin’ in a lightbulb. Put some damn muscle into it!

Bearcub strains, but the valve won’t budge. He finally lets out a defeated sigh, slumping down.

BEARCUB

I don’t know if I can do this. It’s—it’s not really my thing.

Rick looks at him, softening a bit.

RICK

Nobody’s thing is to be out here. But you got a choice: let the job break you, or break the job.

Bearcub nods, trying to muster his resolve.

CUT TO:

EXT. SITE WORK AREA – EVENING

The crew is wrapping up for the day. Bearcub, drenched in sweat and covered in dirt, looks completely exhausted but has a small smile on his face. He stands with BEARCAT, who’s watching him with a mix of pride and concern.

BEARCAT

You did good today, kid. But don’t feel like you gotta stay if it’s not for you. Nobody’s gonna call you a pussy for goin’ back to your paints.

Bearcub shakes his head.

BEARCUB

Nah, I’m not quittin’. Not yet, anyway. Just gotta…find my rhythm.

Bearcat pats him on the back, a rare moment of fatherly approval.

BEARCAT

Takes guts. Just remember—out here, it’s less about findin’ rhythm and more about learnin’ to dance to the one we got.

They start walking back as the camera pulls back to show the sprawling pipeline site, the sky turning a dusty pink as the day fades.

ACT TWO

INT. SITE TRAILER – NEXT DAY

Bearcub is assigned to work alongside SNORTY and GORGEOUS GORD. They’re standing over a huge pile of piping material that needs to be sorted. Snorty is fidgeting, staring at the pipes like they might explode.

SNORTY

Why the fuck do they make ‘em all look the same? Is this a test? I bet Spawny’s watchin’ us right now, laughing his ass off.

GORGEOUS GORD

(cheerfully oblivious, holding a chicken wing)

Doesn’t matter, buddy. It’s all chicken when you’re hungry, right?

Bearcub gives Gord a baffled look but then takes a deep breath and starts sorting through the pipes. He’s noticeably slow but diligent.

BEARCUB

(to himself)

Okay…two-inch, three-inch…what the fuck’s a sixteenth of an inch?

Snorty, surprisingly, bends down and points out a measurement.

SNORTY

That’s the diameter, see? You want the inner diameter here.

Bearcub looks at him, a little amazed.

BEARCUB

Wow, thanks. You really know your shit.

SNORTY

(grinning like a proud child)

Yeah, well…Don’t tell B-rod, but I used to run this fuckin’ site. Before—y’know.

Gorgeous Gord interrupts with a chuckle, flinging chicken grease everywhere.

GORGEOUS GORD

Back when you could still see your nose without a mirror, right, Snorty?

Everyone laughs, even Bearcub. There’s a strange camaraderie here—a sense that maybe, just maybe, he might fit in.

TAG SCENE

INT. LOCAL BAR – NIGHT

The crew is sitting around a battered table. Bearcub is nursing a beer, looking around at the others sharing old stories, Rick trying to flirt with the bartender, Snorty fidgeting nervously, and Gord somehow managing to eat a chicken wing without using his hands.

B-ROD stands up and raises a glass.

B-ROD

To Green Helmet. He might not know a wrench from a paintbrush, but at least he’s got fuckin’ guts.

Everyone cheers, even Bearcat, who nods approvingly at his son. Bearcub smiles—he’s still out of his element, but for the first time, he feels like part of something bigger.

FADE OUT.

END OF EPISODE